


If we can live through this

by DrEggSandwich



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Dialogue Heavy, Found Family, Future Fic, Gen, M/M, Technically romantic but doesn't have to be?, implied other pairings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-11-07 19:50:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20822861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrEggSandwich/pseuds/DrEggSandwich
Summary: In a quiet moment, Fjord and Caduceus talk about retirement plans





	If we can live through this

It had been a long day. A long week, month, year dealing with demons and wars and world-ending catastrophe. It wasn’t over by any means, but it was a quiet lull. A not-so-quiet night as the sounds of the busy streets of Zadash buzzed on beyond the shuttered windows of the inn. It was barely past sundown, really, but it had been a very long day.

Fjord laid on his back, searching for patterns in the wood grain in the dim candlelight. Caduceus laid next to him, curled away facing the door, drifting quietly in-between the waking and dreaming worlds.

“When this is all over and done – if we survive – what are you going to do?” Fjord’s voice broke the silence in the room, bringing Caduceus more solidly into the waking side of the world. Caduceus shifted in the bed so that he was propped up on an elbow looking at Fjord.

“Hmmm” he began. Fjord blushed slightly under the strength of his observant gaze. “I used to think I would go back to the Blooming Grove” he responded, lying back down on his back, still looking at Fjord.

“And now?”

“I’m not sure. What about you?”

“If we survive, I think I’d like to be near the sea again”

“Hmm”

“Not in a city though, I think, maybe on the outskirts or somewhere where it’s not too far to travel for supplies but where it’s still a little wild, you know?”

“Space for a garden” Caduceus adds. Fjord smiles.

“Maybe I’ll finally learn to grow my own vegetables like you do”

“Mm. Somewhere in the Menagerie Coast, where we can worship freely”

Fjord stops breathing for a second. “We?” he asks weakly. His mind feels like it both stopped and is running 100 miles an hour. What did Caduceus mean? Was he implying that he wanted to retire with Fjord? They worship the same god that happens to be illegal in the empire, maybe it was just a general statement. He wasn’t sure which of the possibilities he hoped to be true.

“If that’s okay” Caduceus responded, turning on his side to face Fjord.

Fjord’s breath caught in his throat. “I would be honoured”. Caduceus smiled widely, closing his eyes.

“There would be space for all the others too. Not in the same house, I think, I’ve learned the value of having your own space, but nearby” he continued.

Fjord felt his chest constrict briefly – Caduceus had meant ‘we’ as in all of the Mighty Nein not ‘we’ as in him-and-Fjord. Of course, how could he have been so stupid. Outwardly, he chuckled.

“There would be one house for Nott and her family” he said.

“They would have a lab for Nott and Yeza, a library for Caleb”

“And a big yard for Luc to play in without getting into your plants” Fjord added, facing Caduceus to find him staring. He felt himself blush but didn’t look away.

“Do you think the others would prefer to be in a city instead?”

“With Caleb’s transportation abilities I don’t think it would matter too much”

“Hmmm. I’m just afraid Jester would get bored” Caduceus joked

“Near enough to town that she could go into town for day trips to wreak havoc on the unsuspecting, then”

“There would be shrines to each of our gods, like we had in the Xhorhouse, but bigger.”

“Of course”

“Jester and Beau’s house would have a big shrine to the Traveller, of course”

“And a small one to the Knowing Mistress for Beau”

“Do you think Yasha would prefer a room or her own hut to return to?” Caduceus asked. Fjord felt his mood drop immediately. There was a moment of silence. “We’ll get her back” Caduceus added.

“Her own space. She’s always been secretive” Fjord said, trying not to sound bitter or disbelieving of their former? friend’s nature.

Caduceus definitely noted the attitude but politely pretended not to. “Her own place, then, with a shrine to her Stormlord. Somewhere high up, with a view of the sea”

“Hm” Fjord responded. He really didn’t want to think about Yasha.

Caduceus continued, “Our house would be dedicated to the Wildmother, of course.” Fjord turned abruptly to face him. “If that’s alright” Caduceus added, meeting his eyes. Fjord nodded mutely. Caduceus’ smile widened.

“We could have her symbol etched on the mantle of the door”

“With a big wild garden and a sea view”

“You could teach me how to grow my own vegetables”

“Of course”

They were facing each other on the bed now, close enough for Caduceus to rest his forehead against Fjord’s as they laced their fingers together between them.

“I’d like that” Fjord said after a few moments of intense but not uncomfortable silence.

“Mmm” Caduceus hummed his agreement. They were hanging on the edge of something. Fjord wasn’t sure what. His impulsive side was telling him to kiss Caduceus, but his ever-growing cautious side was telling him all the ways this would ruin everything even though they had just been discussing retiring together.

“If we survive” Fjord added, letting go of Caduceus’ hand and turning away. Whatever this was it was a pipe dream that would probably never happen because more likely than not they were not going to live long enough to get to retire. It never helped anyone to dwell on fantasies.

Caduceus’ arm wrapped around Fjord’s middle, pulling him towards himself. His taller frame curled around Fjord’s half-orc form as his thumb ran circles over the place where the falchion scar was. Fjord felt himself melt into the spooning hug. He laced the fingers of one of his hands over where Caduceus was touching his sternum. He wasn’t sure what any of this meant, there were so many things he wasn’t sure of, but in this moment there was a warm weight surrounding him, soft breath tickling the top of his head, and he felt safe and content in a way he was certain he shouldn’t be feeling given the general circumstances.

“Good night, Fjord”

“Good night”

They were going to be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't set in any specific time, I just said Zadash because why not.


End file.
